By Trashman
Assume the Position
"Tax Freedom Day," the official point in the year when one's legal tax liability has been met for the year, came on May 9 this year in Wisconsin.
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By Trashman Assume the Position "Tax Freedom Day," the official point in the year when one's legal tax liability has been met for the year, came on May 9 this year in Wisconsin. |
| The on-duty sexual workers at one of Madison's established
temples of Venus noted the eve of this event during conversation in the
waiting room. The ladies were watching the first installment of "The
Stand" on the tube. (Company always comes just when the movie is getting
interesting.) Uncle Sam even does those of us who don't need the traffic.
One of the customers who sustained rug burns for Uncle
Sam was a Walt Disney Company marketing executive. He may have been researching
a nature film. The working girls may worry about taxes, what of the
executive pimps? A local defrocked lawyer is reportedly raking an unreported
$250,000 a year off his downtown brothel. His old law firm has his son on
staff now. The firm covers many of the shady entrepreneurs downtown and
has a bad rep among lesser clients for giving them up on package deals.
"Look Judge, let the guy who lost the load of dope keep his restaurant,
I'll have his employee skip town, and I'll instruct the three drunk drivers,
two burglars and a guy with some joints to plead guilty." This might give the prosecutor good statistics and not
interfere with local business. Almost a Statistic Number of people who attack women's clinics under the
banner of "Pro-Life" that spent any political currency to prevent
John Wayne Gacy's execution: None. Deal Them In With all the political noise about a Native American
casino planned for Blooming Grove, why isn't anyone discussing the casino
that's already right there? It's a mere hop off the interstate from Chicago.
The precise address is actually in a tiny parcel of the City of Madison. It's been going on for years. Maybe the lack of controversy
is because the establishment neglected to apply for a license and the operators
are grandfathered in. Just Do It If Rodney King had stuck a gun to his own head and tried
to lead a Los Angeles Police caravan for 75 miles around the beltline in
his own car, how far would he have gotten?Trafficking Control It's amazing that more students aren't turned into speedbumps
downtown for wandering around in traffic at bar time. The police have launched
an extreme crackdown on jay-walkers in the 600 block of University. There
must be two dozen uniforms deployed to catch errant pedestrians. The fine
is $37.50. It would be in character for Paul Soglin to appear in a crossing
guard get-up. All right, what's really going on here? The city managed to close the Underground to remove
the major gathering focus downtown for urban gangstas. They may be culturally
arrested jerks, but that doesn't mean they don't have the same rights of
free association and due process as everyone else. There are frequently low-lifes dealing rocks in the
alley and corners by Kinkos and the Church Key. The gangstas have moved
to Bullwinkle's as a hang-out. They're too homophobic to go near Club deWash.
Spectator's became Rock Island partially because the owners were offended
at interracial couples there and wanted to attract a new crowd, according
to a an employee. Any downtown bar that plays rap and has a crowd of younger
Blacks is going to have an extreme official presence. It may be building
and health inspectors. It may be armed crossing guards. There are undoubtedly
lots of assorted undercover cops who could just shake off the cobwebs and
walk over from the Black Bear. The cocaine subculture is cancerous and Trashman believes
that removing cocaine from Madison is a good thing. (Let's do it ourselves,
the cops can't be trusted on this point.) The problem is racism and intellectual
dishonesty on the part of the city. Metro Squad finally managed to bust
someone (James Leon, 29, of Middleton, with three containers and $1867 in
cash) for coke at Jocko's recently, which has had a reputation for years.
The primary cocaine enthusiast at Jocko's, however, is a former city public
safety employee. The police aren't stupid enough to have missed this, so
logic suggests someone official gets a taste. Cops mistakenly assume that every young Black man with
a cocked hat and misogynist lyrics on his breath is a rockhound. The rock
dealers themselves just haven't figured out how to pay off the right people
as well as powder dealers have, with the possible exception of Town of Madison
detectives, of course. Sauce for the Gander Club 3054 is getting slapped for dropping its collective
knickers. There were some distressing reports. Employees failed to wash
their hands after sexual relations, and did violate some health codes. Notice the double standards at work here. 1. Sexual preference is an issue. The Milwaukee police
officer who raised the issue was afraid to admit his/her identity. The reason
was that s/he feared retribution from a homophobic police establishment.
There are detectives and patrol officers in Madison who are openly gay.
Though they still face a glass ceiling, Madison needs such liberal veneer
hype to promote tourism. 2. Alcohol served by people in their underwear is not
a problem. What about Hooters and Visions, where innuendo and lascivious
nudity are the services being promoted to sell alcohol. If some lunchbox
gets a pubic hair in his rum & coke at Visions, he stuffs an extra bill
in the G-string. Hooters encourages an atmosphere where scantily clad waitrons
get groped. 3. People were having sex in a business establishment.
What in the Hell does the city officially believe is going on at the Rising
Sun and the Geisha House? The john hands a picture of President Grant to
the receptionist, takes a shower, and gives the woman in the closed room
real cash to play hide the sausage. Any safe sex in an atmosphere where all parties in sensory
range are consenting adults is perfectly acceptable. If a bar wishes to
rent a room to a private party for an orgy, condoms and handwashing are
all the city need concern itself with. If food is being served, ok, hair-nets.
Prostitution should be legal, pimps should not. Sexual workers need health
coverage and a union. The city is only bothering to crack down on situations
where the sexual workers are not women being pimped off by cheap gangsters
with pretensions of respectability. Let's see if the cops can take out some white hetro
bars for gambling, sexual misconduct and cocaine before Trashman names them
in the September issue of slack. The first 10 people who send a list of
three correct guesses care of this magazine might get a free subscription
to slack and a t-shirt. Is this the first annual "Best of Illegal Madison"
contest? Hmmm... Gravy Sucking Parasites There is a suburb of the City of Madison which does
not pay a fair share of taxes. They use our services, schools and roads.
It isn't safe for outsiders to drive through without being harassed. The residents take advantage of all manner of government
programs and tax variations. It would be only fair that this micro municipality
be absorbed into the body of the city and the residents be taken off the
dole. This town should be annexed by the City of Madison. That's right,
annex Maple Bluff. The possibility of a pro-annexation march on the Maple
Bluff Country Club is very real, and a fine idea. A few thousand of the
working people who take up the slack for these statistical deadbeats really
should walk right up to the front door and present the petition for annexation
at the next golf game or gala affair. A standing presence would be nice to keep the focus.
A shantytown on the green, near the sixth hole, would also be very effective.
Send in the Klowns A bartender at an Eastside bar told an amusing anecdote
to his customers recently. His son borrowed one of his t-shirts and got
sent home from school for the inscription. The logo was "Invisible
Empire, Knights of the Ku Klux Klan." Well, let's check his phone bill
for calls to Janesville, where the Klan organizer was revealed to be a long-time
police informer. This guy has the textbook rap of "macho, paranoid,
armed and heavier than thou" that is taught at the police academy to
impress and ingratiate a provocateur to a target group. If he really is a simple Klansman, he doesn't get it
and will be fodder to someone smarter. There aren't any pretty alternatives.
Either way, he's dangerous. There seem to be several deep-end crypto-fascists drinking
at this bar these days. If they decide to charge the nearby Gay bar, let's
hope traffic is really heavy on East Washington. Rush hour could pick off
most of them. Any survivors might get a jaywalking ticket for $37.50. Penguin Patrol Does anyone have info about nuns who reportedly had
sexual liaisons with Governor Tommy Thompson? While working as a PR flak
for someone else, Channel 3 called me for a response to remarks against
my client by Thompson. My flippant response was "At least (my client)
isn't screwing nuns." The Channel 3 reporter nearly fell out of his
chair laughing, "We've heard that for years and would love to see some
corroboration." Maybe a personal ad in the Catholic Reporter would help. |
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